


Research - Part 2

by ChocolateKid



Series: Research [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Again, But Cas Finds The Fanfictions, Canon Compliant, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Runs, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Fluff, Hurt, Insecure Dean, M/M, Post-Purgatory, Purgatory, Set After Episode S10E05 Fan Fiction, Shouldn't it be Deastiel?, Story within a Story, Unresolved Sexual Tension, more or less
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9453212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateKid/pseuds/ChocolateKid
Summary: Cas, Dean prayed to me.We need to talk.Or: Cas reads fanfiction.~~~Set after the events of S10E05 "Fanfiction"





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's Part 2 of "Research"!  
> I got so many requests for it that I couldn't possibly ignore them, so I wrote this. I hope it's satisfactory, I'm actually pretty content with it.  
> Thanks for all your feedback!

**Cas's POV**

_Cas_ , Dean prayed to me. _We need to talk_.

Readily, I spread my invisible wings and a second later, I was standing in Dean's room and right next to him.

"Hey, C-Cas," Dean stuttered, obviously surprised by my quick reaction. I noticed that he seemed unusually nervous and I tilted my head at him slightly.

"Hello, Dean," I said and waited. Dean didn't say anything and simply stared at me, so I added, "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

Dean gulped visibly and once again, I couldn't figure out what was up with him. He still didn't answer though, despite his mouth being open like he was about to speak. No words came out for a long time.

Then, suddenly, he tore his gaze away and announced hurriedly, "You know what? Talking was a bad idea, never mind!"

And he ran out of the room quickly with a blush on his cheeks.

I stood there for a few more minutes, contemplating on what had just happened. This had not been something Dean usually did and it made me slightly nervous. Had something bad happened?

...No, probably not. If it was really something of utter importance, I was sure Dean would've told me without hesitation.

I frowned, in thought. Dean certainly was a weird human being. I'd never quite been able to figure him out and I was no closer to understanding him than before. Sam I could deal with, but Dean? Not really.

I sat down on his bed. Dean wasn't here but his bed smelled like him and it was strangely comforting. It had been hard lately, with Dean fleeing the room when I as much as said hello. I didn't understand why he ran and I didn't understand the jokes Sam made about us, but I'd realized quickly that they made Dean unbelievably uncomfortable.

I'd tried talking to Sam about it to make him stop because he was obviously hurting Dean, but all Sam had said was, "He needs to get his head out of his ass if he wants that."

So he hadn't stopped. And Dean hadn't stopped running.

Suddenly, I noticed something blinking next to me. I glanced down at Dean's laptop, seeing the light blinking furiously because of weak battery. I looked around quickly, searching for the charger, knowing that Dean hated it when his laptop shut down without his knowledge.

I found it a few moments later and didn't hesitate to connect it to the laptop. The blinking stopped.

I sighed contently. Dean would surely be thankful for it.

Nevertheless, I wondered what he'd been looking at, seeing as he didn't use his laptop that often. Probably just some _Busty Asian Beauty_.

My stomach churned unhappily at the thought. What did those girls have that Dean liked so much?

I couldn't help my curiosity, wanting to check for myself, so I opened his laptop determinedly. I was rather surprised when it didn't show naked women. I was even more surprised when it turned out to be some kind of story. I didn't even know Dean read?

I skimmed over a few sentences and frowned when I read Dean's and then my own name. Since I knew Castiel wasn't a common name amongst human beings, I was more than a little surprised.

 _The Winchester Gospels maybe?_ I thought and tried to remember when I'd ever been to high school.

 

_"You know, Cas," Dean said, holding Castiel close as they danced slowly. "I'm really glad you said yes."_

_Castiel blushed a little. "Well, I couldn't turn you down for Prom, now, could I?" he asked and smirked slightly._

_"I guess not," Dean replied, smirking himself, and he pulled Castiel a little closer. His lips were in Castiel's direct sight now, keeping the boy from being able to look at anything else._

_"Cas..." Dean started, unsure about what he was going to say._

_"Yes, Dean?" Castiel asked and lifted his gaze to look into Dean's eyes. His breathing stopped when he saw the look in his eyes, filled with an emotion he could not place, something so soft it made Castiel shiver._

_With blue eyes staring into his own, Dean couldn't hold back his next words. "I love you, Cas."_

 

"That didn't happen," I said, frowning confusedly, and ignored the painful sting that fact made me feel.

So, not the Winchester Gospels then. But what else would this be?

I looked through the website, looking for anything that might give me a hint, and I found it quickly.

 _Fanfiction_ , I thought. _Why would Dean be looking at fanfiction?_

I returned to the story I'd just read a part of. I was curious as to what the ending would be like. It was only a few sentences more anyway.

 

_With blue eyes staring into his own, Dean couldn't hold back his next words. "I love you, Cas."_

_Castiel's eyes widened, not expecting the sudden confession, and he pulled back involuntarily._

_He quickly caught himself though. Yes, it was kind of unexpected, but Castiel had already suspected Dean's feelings for him. He'd hoped for them, at least._

_So he smiled softly, happiness filling his being when he opened his mouth to answer, but he wasn't able to. Because all of a sudden, there were a pair of lips on his own and he was being kissed softly._

_Dean was kissing him. At Prom. And in front of everyone_ _else._

_This had to be the best day of his life._

_After a moment of surprise, Castiel kissed back eagerly. Dean's lips were warm, his tongue soft and the kiss itself was slow and appreciating._

_"Dean," Cas muttered in between kisses. "Dean, I need to tell you something."_

_"Hm?" Dean mumbled, continuing to worship him with his lips like his life depended on it._

_"I love you, too."_

 

Sadly, the fanfiction ended right there. I had kinda wanted to read more...

Clicking the button to move backwards, I ended up with another fanfiction. I didn't even start reading when one sentence struck my eye.

 

 _"Mhh, you taste so good, Cas," Dean hummed and didn't hesitate to engulf Castiel's dick_ _in his mouth._

 

I flushed violently, shutting the laptop a little harder than intended, and almost jumped out of the bed. Why had Dean been reading something like _this_? Why would he wanna read about us having sex?

Why would he read about us _at all_?

A second later, I was back on the bed and opened the laptop again to look at the other stories he'd been reading, curiosity getting the better of me.

There was a fanfiction in which I owned a flower shop and Dean was a customer.

Another one spoke about how we met in summer camp.

There was a 'soul mate AU', whatever that was supposed to be.

And Purgatory.

_Purgatory._

This was the one that made me stop clicking through the pages. Purgatory was no 'alternate universe'. Purgatory actually _happened_ , so what would anyone have written about it?

I was definitely interested, but did I really want to hurt myself reading it?

Apparently, yes.

I read and read and the first part felt awfully familiar. The author must've taken it from the original book because it had happened almost exactly as described.

But then there was that night that didn't happen, in which I apparently laid down next to Dean...

 

_"I'll get us out of here, Cas," he then said, determined. "I'm gonna get the three of us out of here and I won't leave either of you behind. We'll get home together, I promise that to you."_

_Cas averted his eyes for a second, an indecisive expression on his face but then he looked back into Dean's eyes and nodded quietly._

_"I won't leave you again, Dean," he promised and Dean breathed out in relief. That wasn't what he had originally been concerned about but it was still good to hear. They were gonna leave Purgatory, all three of them, and as soon as they were back, life would finally be worth living again._

_Yes, they were going to be out of here soon. Dean was sure of it._

 

I couldn't breathe for a second. The memory of a promise so similar to this one kept stabbing my heart with invisible knives and I wanted to make it hurt less but I couldn't do anything, much less stop reading.

 

_A few minutes later, they both fell asleep, holding on to each other tightly._

_When they woke up, wrapped up in each other's arms, they did not mention it once._

_~~~_

_Days later, Cas and Dean's intimate moment seemed to be forgotten. They followed Benny through the never ending forest, tirelessly fighting whichever creature crossed their path. They were way too busy keeping a move on for other private moments to occur._

_It was day number ten when they got kind of close to each other again._

_"Hold up," Benny mumbled mid-step and stopped suddenly._

_"What is it?" Dean asked, lowering his voice and stopping himself, looking around suspiciously. There didn't seem to be an immediate threat, as far as he could tell, but Benny's instincts had always been better than his anyway._

_Without even noticing, Dean positioned himself in front of Cas to shield him from whatever might come their way. He'd done that ever since he got Cas back, not wanting anything to happen to his angel._

_"I'm not sure," Benny muttered, glancing around uncomfortably. "Both of you. Hide," he then ordered and Dean did what he said, trusting him completely. If Benny thought it was better to leave him alone with this, he'd have his reasons._

_Without thinking about it, Dean grabbed Cas's hand and pulled him with him, only stopping when they were a few hundred feet away and hidden behind a tree._

_Cas stayed close behind him the whole time, letting himself be dragged through the forest. He only came to a halt beside Dean when the other man stopped walking himself, and turned to look at Dean like he always did. They were standing behind a wide tree now and there was no way they'd be spotted from where Benny was at the moment._

_Dean glanced around the tree to keep an eye on what was going on but nothing immediate seemed to happen. Being the patient Purgatory prisoner he was, Dean kept quiet and watched everything with an alert gaze. He couldn't help feeling a little distracted though._

_Because despite the danger they could possibly be in, the only thing he could focus on was Cas watching him intently. The angel hadn't even let go off his hand, not that Dean was complaining, but it didn't make concentrating on their situation much easier._

_They stayed behind that tree for a few long quiet minutes. Then, eventually, they heard Benny give the all-clear and they stepped away from the tree to walk back to Benny._

_Neither of them let go off each other's hand._

 

"Cas!" Dean's angry voice interrupted my reading. "What the hell, man! Step away from my computer!" he exclaimed and shut the laptop in my face. He ripped it away from my hands and looked at me in anger.

"What the hell were you doing?" he hissed and I noticed that his face was flushed in embarrassment.

"I..." I started because those last sentences I'd read were still messing with my head. "Dean... Why did we never hold hands in Purgatory?" I asked instead.

"What?" he replied, his voice weirdly hoarse.

"We never-- I mean... Sometimes, I would get scared, at night, or whenever, and... and it just would've been nice if you-- But we never..." I muttered, not sure what I wanted to say with this, but not really able to stop. "Well, why didn't we?"

"I..." Dean mumbled, obviously at a loss for words. "Um..."

He simply stared at me. I stared back.

"It's just... I read this thing, this fanfiction or whatever it is you were reading, and it said that we held hands in Purgatory. But we didn't. And now I'm wondering why... Being with you always made me feel okay when I was afraid; it still does, too. But sometimes I wonder if being close to you really is enough for me? If what we have is enough... If this _friendship_ really makes me happy, regarding my feelings for you... I don't think that simply being close to you can make me feel the way I want to feel with you, Dean," I continued, oblivious to the unbelieving look on Dean's face. I didn't know where all those words suddenly came from but I guessed they were just things that occurred to me while reading, and I couldn't hold them back now.

"Cas," Dean said, that dumbfounded look still on his face, and he sat down next to me quickly. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Well, what do you think I'm saying?" I asked because I honestly did not know.

"Do you... you know," he replied helpfully, avoiding my gaze, and I sighed slightly.

"I may not know what you think, but I am telling you that my feelings for you are no longer platonic. I don't know if they ever were... I love you, Dean, that's what I'm saying," I explained, my voice steady, gaze unwavering when Dean looked up at me. His eyes were full of surprise and so full of hope.

"I..." he started, fumbling with his shirt sleeves nervously. "I love you, too, Cas..."

I smiled.

* * *

 "You guys still busy denying your huge gay crush on each other?" Sam teased when he found Dean and me sitting next to each other on the couch. I smirked to myself quietly but didn't answer.

"Actually," Dean said and smiled at me sweetly. "I'd say Destiel is very much happening."

When he took my hand and pressed a loving kiss against my cheek, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or roll my eyes at the look on Sam's face.


End file.
